NOVEMBER EXCERPT MONDAY: Vengeance in Bloom
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Wood and glass shattered around her as she crashed through the window frame. Landing on the short slanted roof just below, she tried grabbing hold of something, a shingle, anything to stop from falling. Her momentum was too great. She tumbled down the slope of the roof. Before she even realized that she fell off the edge, she slammed to the ground in a breathless heap on her back.
The pounding in her head dulled all other sounds. Her vision was blurred and she gasped for air. Her throat and nose still burned from the smoke, but after her fourth agonizing try, air flowed into her lungs. She coughed, shook her head, and blinked until her vision cleared. The stars in the night sky twinkled down at her in silence.
The world rushed back and engulfed her.
Gunfire exploded around her. Horses neighed high-pitched and excited. The raging fire roared and the heat was suffocating. She turned over on her stomach and grunted at the pain in her spine. While she pushed herself up on her hands and knees, the burning house began to collapse before her. Wooden support beams moaned under the rolling flames. The inferno lit the sky.
She heard voices of men, angry and yelling, calling to each other to come this way and look that way. The ground vibrated beneath her and she could feel the rumble of horse hooves in palms of her hands through the dirt. She stumbled to her feet and ran into the surrounding trees as fast as her bare feet could take her. She ducked, dodged, and swatted at the tree branches and thorny bushes that tugged at her clothes and scratched bleeding welts into her skin.
Those men had to be from the nearby town. She just knew it. Hiding in that abandoned house was a bad idea and she knew it was; but Payton did not care. Payton feared no one and did whatever he wanted. Nobody corrected him, especially not her, unless she wanted to nurse another broken arm.
As she fought her way through the woods, a thought nearly stopped her in her tracks, but she refused to stop. What happened to the others? Did they all make it out the house? Did they burn in the fire or did the townsmen get them outside? She prayed for either to be true, if not both. She was scared to indulge the idea of being free of them. It was yet another prayer that God failed to answer. She realized that this was the farthest she had ever been from anyone of them in a long time, too long.
Soon, the woods gave way to an open field of grass occupied by a single dark structure. She stumbled to a halt and panted. It loomed over her in the moonlight and its shadow stretched out to bathe her in darkness. It looked like a barn. She ran to it and pulled on the large doors, but thick rusted chains barred her entry. She clawed her way between the heavy doors and rattled the rusted chains that held them closed. With gritted teeth, she squeezed most of her body through but the doors slammed on her right ankle. She collapsed to the dirt floor and bit her bottom lip to muffle her screams. She laid there on her stomach, balled her fists, and took in the pain.
Moments later, the pain seemed to melt away and her ankle grew numb. She pushed herself up on her elbows and took a deep breath. Her heart pounded and her lungs burned, but she dared not stop. She turned over on her back and nudged the doors apart with her free leg just wide enough to yank her ankle loose. She touched it and could feel that it had begun to swell.
A faint rumble rose up in the night, and she scrambled to her feet. A bolt of pain shot up her right leg and she stumbled forward. Before she dropped, she caught herself on the barn doors in a clatter of wood and chains. “Shit!” she hissed, and her ankle throbbed hot and angry.
She hopped on her good leg and turned around to lean back against the door. Her raven hair clung to her sweaty face and she wiped it out of her eyes. Moonlight shone through partially boarded up windows and hinted at the empty stalls of splintered wood that lined both walls of the barn. A patchy blanket of musty hay covered the dirt floor, and she caught the silhouette of a ladder, which she could use to hide in the hayloft if she moved fast enough.
The rumble grew louder and vibrated through the ground under her feet, and then it abruptly stopped just outside the barn. Horses neighed and snorted in a commotion just beyond the doors. In an explosion, a hole ripped through the door beside her head. She fell to the side into a mound of hay, and a cold tingling sensation rippled through her body. She shivered. A high-pitched ringing filled her head. Her left ear burned. It stung when she touched it. There was a deep gouge in the curve of her ear and her fingers were slick with blood. Her jaw dropped. If it had been only an inch more to the right, she would have been dead.
“Come on out, girl!” a man yelled outside the door.
She pushed herself up to her feet and hobbled over the ladder half-buried in hay. She grabbed the rungs and heaved with all her might. It scrapped across the ground a half inch if it even moved at all; it might as well have been rooted to the ground.
“Don’t make us chase you no further, hear?” A second voice called. The barn doors shook violently. "We know y'er in there!"
Lily hopped down the line of dilapidated stables, and the pain in her ankle knifed its way up to her knee, then to her upper thigh. Finally, she collapsed into a stable on her right where piles of hay took up its left and right corners.
There was a thunderous boom of a shotgun blast, and the chains on the barn doors rattled. She clawed her way over to the pile of hay to the left and burrowed into it head first. She dug her way to the corner of the stable and covered herself completely in hay. She left a little hole just big enough to see through, and took a deep breath.
She heard the barn doors slowly creak open, and pale moonlight bled inside the stables. Concealed by the hay, she curled into a tight ball, and waited in silence. Footsteps stalked through the barn and two men came to stand in front of her stall. She could not see their faces, but the one on the left carried a rifle and the other gripped a shotgun.
Wood and glass shattered around her as she crashed through the window frame. Landing on the short slanted roof just below, she tried grabbing hold of something, a shingle, anything to stop from falling. Her momentum was too great. She tumbled down the slope of the roof. Before she even realized that she fell off the edge, she slammed to the ground in a breathless heap on her back.
The pounding in her head dulled all other sounds. Her vision was blurred and she gasped for air. Her throat and nose still burned from the smoke, but after her fourth agonizing try, air flowed into her lungs. She coughed, shook her head, and blinked until her vision cleared. The stars in the night sky twinkled down at her in silence.
The world rushed back and engulfed her.
Gunfire exploded around her. Horses neighed high-pitched and excited. The raging fire roared and the heat was suffocating. She turned over on her stomach and grunted at the pain in her spine. While she pushed herself up on her hands and knees, the burning house began to collapse before her. Wooden support beams moaned under the rolling flames. The inferno lit the sky.
She heard voices of men, angry and yelling, calling to each other to come this way and look that way. The ground vibrated beneath her and she could feel the rumble of horse hooves in palms of her hands through the dirt. She stumbled to her feet and ran into the surrounding trees as fast as her bare feet could take her. She ducked, dodged, and swatted at the tree branches and thorny bushes that tugged at her clothes and scratched bleeding welts into her skin.
Those men had to be from the nearby town. She just knew it. Hiding in that abandoned house was a bad idea and she knew it was; but Payton did not care. Payton feared no one and did whatever he wanted. Nobody corrected him, especially not her, unless she wanted to nurse another broken arm.
As she fought her way through the woods, a thought nearly stopped her in her tracks, but she refused to stop. What happened to the others? Did they all make it out the house? Did they burn in the fire or did the townsmen get them outside? She prayed for either to be true, if not both. She was scared to indulge the idea of being free of them. It was yet another prayer that God failed to answer. She realized that this was the farthest she had ever been from anyone of them in a long time, too long.
Soon, the woods gave way to an open field of grass occupied by a single dark structure. She stumbled to a halt and panted. It loomed over her in the moonlight and its shadow stretched out to bathe her in darkness. It looked like a barn. She ran to it and pulled on the large doors, but thick rusted chains barred her entry. She clawed her way between the heavy doors and rattled the rusted chains that held them closed. With gritted teeth, she squeezed most of her body through but the doors slammed on her right ankle. She collapsed to the dirt floor and bit her bottom lip to muffle her screams. She laid there on her stomach, balled her fists, and took in the pain.
Moments later, the pain seemed to melt away and her ankle grew numb. She pushed herself up on her elbows and took a deep breath. Her heart pounded and her lungs burned, but she dared not stop. She turned over on her back and nudged the doors apart with her free leg just wide enough to yank her ankle loose. She touched it and could feel that it had begun to swell.
A faint rumble rose up in the night, and she scrambled to her feet. A bolt of pain shot up her right leg and she stumbled forward. Before she dropped, she caught herself on the barn doors in a clatter of wood and chains. “Shit!” she hissed, and her ankle throbbed hot and angry.
She hopped on her good leg and turned around to lean back against the door. Her raven hair clung to her sweaty face and she wiped it out of her eyes. Moonlight shone through partially boarded up windows and hinted at the empty stalls of splintered wood that lined both walls of the barn. A patchy blanket of musty hay covered the dirt floor, and she caught the silhouette of a ladder, which she could use to hide in the hayloft if she moved fast enough.
The rumble grew louder and vibrated through the ground under her feet, and then it abruptly stopped just outside the barn. Horses neighed and snorted in a commotion just beyond the doors. In an explosion, a hole ripped through the door beside her head. She fell to the side into a mound of hay, and a cold tingling sensation rippled through her body. She shivered. A high-pitched ringing filled her head. Her left ear burned. It stung when she touched it. There was a deep gouge in the curve of her ear and her fingers were slick with blood. Her jaw dropped. If it had been only an inch more to the right, she would have been dead.
“Come on out, girl!” a man yelled outside the door.
She pushed herself up to her feet and hobbled over the ladder half-buried in hay. She grabbed the rungs and heaved with all her might. It scrapped across the ground a half inch if it even moved at all; it might as well have been rooted to the ground.
“Don’t make us chase you no further, hear?” A second voice called. The barn doors shook violently. "We know y'er in there!"
Lily hopped down the line of dilapidated stables, and the pain in her ankle knifed its way up to her knee, then to her upper thigh. Finally, she collapsed into a stable on her right where piles of hay took up its left and right corners.
There was a thunderous boom of a shotgun blast, and the chains on the barn doors rattled. She clawed her way over to the pile of hay to the left and burrowed into it head first. She dug her way to the corner of the stable and covered herself completely in hay. She left a little hole just big enough to see through, and took a deep breath.
She heard the barn doors slowly creak open, and pale moonlight bled inside the stables. Concealed by the hay, she curled into a tight ball, and waited in silence. Footsteps stalked through the barn and two men came to stand in front of her stall. She could not see their faces, but the one on the left carried a rifle and the other gripped a shotgun.
“Links to other Excerpt Monday writersN ote: I have not personally screened these excerpts. Please heed the ratings and be aware that the links may contain material that is not typical of my site.
Posted by J. W. Hankins at 11/9/2009 12:00 AM 
Categories: Excerpt Monday,z.My Works
Tags: Vengeance in Bloom Action Fantasy Drama Western Discarded Garden
Categories: Excerpt Monday,z.My Works
Tags: Vengeance in Bloom Action Fantasy Drama Western Discarded Garden
You have a great way of writing action and incorporating so much that the reader feels like they are there. Really great excerpt! I really enjoyed it and can't wait to read more.
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Thank you very much for your encouraging words!
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